Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

Through my own experiences and loved ones, I have gained so much knowledge about dysfunctional relationships! It took me a long time but I finally was able to understand what a healthy relationship is!

If you are constantly in bad relationships chances are you are also playing a part.

Although the focus is on romantic relationships, it also relates to coworkers, family, friends.

So why do people stay in toxic relationships? The main reasons from my findings is codependency, the need for other peoples approval and sense of identity, chronic people-pleasing basing your whole existence or purpose on another person/people. Codependency can be overextending yourself and never putting yourself first, you feel the need to always meet everyone/partners need.

As well as normally unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person/people.

Without this relationship, you feel your life has no value. When a codependent person goes through a break up it destroys them, they feel cannot exist without a partner. Normally from early on the relationship has red flags, however, the codependent person will never leave the toxic partner despite their behaviour.

Another thing is codependents tend to hop from one relationship to the next and are rarely ever single, always in a relationship or situationships mourning breakups like its a death! of course, it is normal to mourn after a breakup; however, codependents post-breakup tend to suffer from mental health such as anxiety, depression, PTSD. Many people are not aware of their codependency.

Reasons for being in unhealthy relationships :

  1. Low self-esteem/ self-worth

  2. Fear of being alone

  3. Hope partner will change

  4. Ashamed/ judgment from others

  5. Financially dependent

  6. Don’t think you can do better

  7. Children

  8. Culture/ religion

Codependents choose projects and will often attract partners with addiction issues, lost in life and take on their problems,they attract narcissist!

1. Never put self first
2. Will do anything to hold on to relationship 
4. Responsible forkeeping relationship together
5. You feel the need to meet partners every need
6. Never say no

So there you go some of the basics of codependency traits within a relationship.

How To Recover From Codependacy

  • Learn to love yourself

  • Read books

  • Create boundaries

  • Soul search

  • Assess your previous relationships

  • Therapy/counselling to work through attachment issues


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